I'm asked often how I've been able to shed the kilos, there's soo much I need to tell people about my so far journey, from going from 110 kilos to 70 kilos.
Firstly, this has been a long journey. Three years of a bit of yo-yoing, two babies, two years of breastfeeding. But the last five months I've been more serious about it than ever, and average about a kilo a week.
It's been no special diet, no crazy gym time, no calorie counting.
I was what I ate!
What I indulged in once a week, slowly became every night. The worse I felt in life, the more dessert I indulged in. And I mean INDULGED!!!! Usually I would have around 1,000- 1,500 grams of sugar A NIGHT! Yup. That's about 6 cups of sugar. I was definitely trying to fill a gap, instead I was filling out every single gap in my clothes. But fuck it I thought... Who cares! I obviously didn't care. I was sad. I was hurt. Ice cream literally became my friend. Not even gestational diabetes scared me into eating better. In fact I went on a "eat all the foods" binge.
I would work at night on my computer with a tub of ice cream. Chocolate, my goodness.. Chocolate was my ecstasy. It was literally an addiction, and was so much harder to give up than cigarettes ever has been.
After being seperated I began such an incredible journey of self discovery. I'm still in the midst of it, but I learned to start doing things for ME and not everyone else. This was the first mindset that helped me change my eating patterns. Once I started loving myself, I didn't see loosing weight as a punishment.
I realized just how much crap I was putting into my body. I slowly cut it all out, swapping things, finding healthier options. It all became so much easier when it went from "I can't have that" to "I don't want that". Desserts I never crave.. Unless I'm PMSing. Chocolate waterfalls no longer look appealing and the sight of cream makes me feel sick. It's so much easier after all the cravings left.
I also started eating only when I was hungry.. No comfort eating, and portion controlling so I would learn to stop when I was full. As simple as it sounds, it's actually pretty hard to not eat in routine, but listening to your body!
I'm not going to lie, the weight just started falling off at this point. All it took was healthier eating. Well, you can understand why when I was eating like a kid in a candy store!
My first goal was to be 79 kilo by the time I went to Singapore in May. And I made it!! It was so great to get to a goal. I felt incredible. I felt happier. And that inspired me to keep it up!
I got back from Singapore and started working out, doing some 30 day about challenges. I would work out every night plus started pole dancing once a week. I've just hit my next goal.. 70 kilo!
I've actually hit a bit of a rutt and need to get back into working out more, but still continue to pole dance once a week and go for walks, eat healthier and make better choices. I hope to lose another 10 kilo, but I feel so confident with where I am.
I still think I'm that bigger girl, in fact every time I buy clothes I still buy the bigger size. It's not until I look in the mirror I remember.. It's strange, and I'm sure something that'll change in time. But I am so thankful to myself that I made the decision to be healthier!