The most awkward, in between, stupid age to be single!
You see, I've done the wifey thing. Currently doing the mummy thing. Don't think I'll do either again.
However, men my age are either wanting a one-time-never-gonna-message-you thing OR they're totally ready NOW to settle down, make you their baby mumma and wifey! Now!! Duuudes, where were you 10 years ago?! And the whole "casual" thing doesn't mean you never text heeeer AKA ME BACK!!!! Seeesh. (OK OK I'm not talking ALL here. I still hold hope that there's one guy left that's descent, that's not taken or gay!)
Let's talk kids. Now this is when I confuse myself. I don't want to date someone that has kids. Brady bunch isn't my thing. I don't want to date someone that doesn't have kids. Cause well, what if you want kids some day?! I don't want to even talk about kids. But I love my kids, and they're basically all I talk about. But I don't want you to be interested in my kids. But I'm gonna be really fucking offended if you don't. See this shit that's going on in my head. Ugh.
Let's talk about bodies. I'm so mummafied I look 80 compared to the child less 27 year old. I'm not just talking wrinkles here, I got me some of them too. I'm talking the sag. Yep I said it. Do you even know what it's like to be competing with woman that are in the prime of their bikini life? Yikes! My booty is about the only thing left that hasn't hit the sad sag life, and even that's borderline. It's got about another couple years in the high life, max!
I'm not putting the dating game into teeeeny tiny little fuck you boxes, tying up the boxes with pretty bows and throwing them in garbage bin, but this is seriously how it feels to be single right now. Like a whole lot of karma is laughing at me for getting my 20s & 30s confused.
Oh well, cheers to the flirty, fabulous, flumptious single almost - thirties trying to shuffle their way through the creepers or party bois (that think they're still 17!), that have to kiss a few toads, because let's face it, no matter how old you really are... You still want your prince charming.