Wednesday, September 14, 2016

This is why I won't be sending her to your dietician, doc!

I sit here and write a list of everything my daughter has eaten in the last day while I'm sitting in a society filled with body issues, self confidence issues and eating disorders!
Yet here I am feeding into the idea that everyone needs to be stuck between the lines of what society has built around us. In a box of what people should look like. Even if they're healthy and happy and eat more than anyone else in the household.
I do this while watching over my daughter who is only one years old.

One years old and you want her to see a dietitian.
The first time I refused. I know my daughter eats enough. She eats, and eats... And runs and runs. She's perfect, she's healthy, she's alive, we're both acing her life.
The second time you booked her in to see the dietician I was made to feel that I was a bad parent because again, I didnt see the point. But yet somehow the mother guilt took over and here I am writing a list of what exactly my daughter has eaten in the last 24 hours because you want proof that I feed my child...
 because we live in a society that is too worried about people's shapes and sizes.

Here I am refusing again, because this goes against everything I am striving to teach my daughter.
That every body is beautiful.
That every body is normal.
That every body comes in all different shapes and sizes.
That I won't let my child be sculpted by society's perception of what we all should be.

My child is smaller than 'average', my child is beautiful, my child is perfect... and I will not give in to your screwed up view on that we should be all be in one sized fits all cage.

So fuck you society and fuck you doctors, don't you realize that this is how it begins??

This is where it starts, this is where it begins, this is where we develop the thoughts about how we should or shouldnt be like with our own bodies. This is how we begin to feel that our body is not good enough. This is how we talk ourselves into thinking that society wants our bodies to be so much more than what we were blessed with.

We go on and on about how we need societies views of perfection and beauty to change, especially for teenage girls, but we're still trying to sculpt everyone to fit into a screwed up BMI chart which has been proved to be a complete inaccurate measure of body fat. Go figure!
This is where it starts, when you decide to send my one year to the dietician. When you make me feel like a bad parent for not sending her. And when you want me to write a food diary and watch everything she eats.

She is the way that she was made, she is the way that she was supposed to be, she is the body size nature intended her to be...

So this is why I won't be sending her to your dietician, doc!

And screw your food diary.

Harley xx

Sunday, August 28, 2016



Ruling my own life and cherishing every single moment. Making the most of it and becoming obsessed with it. Waking up with ambition and smashing goals.

Queening. Building my own self confidence and not relying on anyone else for it.

Queening. Building a successful business while raising babies, by myself.

Queening. When I'm feeling down all I have to do is straighten up my crown and get on with life.

Queening. Being so busy obsessing over my own life, I'm not obsessing over others.

Queening. Knowing the difference between right and wrong.

Queening. Knowing your worth.

Queening. Knowing what you want and chasing after it.

Queening. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses and using them for greatness.

Queen. Beauty. Ambition. Confidence. High Standards.


- Harley xx

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Let's end the best mum comps!

Lets face it, birth is not a glamorous walk in the park. For me, it was brutal. For most it's brutal. No matter how we gave birth. And not one birth is more brutal than another. A VB or CS. Actually, most of the reason I went for an elective caesarian with my second was because I was so shit scared of a VB. I was also shit scared of my emergancy ceasarian. But when people say "oh you're lucky , I wish I had a caesarian" I cry inside. Yeah... I loved having my insides slaughted. It was so fucking fun I decided to do it again.

Let's stop the birth competition, the feeding competition, the pressure to be such a perfect mum that if we don't live up to our own standards we see a huge spike in post natal depression in society. This is the same society that tells us that things like cellulite and stretch marks, which are natural processes of our bodies are gross.

Let's stop thinking we don't mother enough compared to Mother Theresa.

 Let's stop getting caught up in objectifying mothers that mother differently to you or us or anyone else.

Let's just all drink wine, acknowledge how crap some days can be and Hi-5 each other with our arms that don't stop waving for another half an hour.

I have surrounded myself with encouraging, passionate, dedicated mums that mother like goddesses, and on bad days, they mother like bad arse goddesses!

 I caught up with a friend the other week who didn't do her hair. Her excuse "I thought stuff it, it's only Harley, she doesn't care!". I can't put into words how much I loved that sentence. I'm that friend that doesn't care! And I don't, I don't care if you're wearing makeup or not, I don't care if we catch up in your PJs, I don't care how you feed, and I certainly don't care (providing you're okay!) how you birthed!

Your neighbor screaming at their kids is doing amazing, you're girlfriend you no longer talk to is still doing amazing no matter how much you don't like her right now and YOU, YOU my dear are doing amazing.

Harley xx

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

How I lost the weight!

I'm asked often how I've been able to shed the kilos, there's soo much I need to tell people about my so far journey, from going from 110 kilos to 70 kilos.

Firstly, this has been a long journey. Three years of a bit of yo-yoing, two babies, two years of breastfeeding. But the last five months I've been more serious about it than ever, and average about a kilo a week.

It's been no special diet, no crazy gym time, no calorie counting.

I was what I ate!
What I indulged in once a week, slowly became every night. The worse I felt in life, the more dessert I indulged in. And I mean INDULGED!!!! Usually I would have around 1,000- 1,500 grams of sugar A NIGHT! Yup. That's about 6 cups of sugar. I was definitely trying to fill a gap, instead I was filling out every single gap in my clothes. But fuck it I thought... Who cares! I obviously didn't care. I was sad. I was hurt. Ice cream literally became my friend. Not even gestational diabetes scared me into eating better. In fact I went on a "eat all the foods" binge.
I would work at night on my computer with a tub of ice cream. Chocolate, my goodness.. Chocolate was my ecstasy.  It was literally an addiction, and was so much harder to give up than cigarettes ever has been.

After being seperated I began such an incredible journey of self discovery. I'm still in the midst of it, but I learned to start doing things for ME and not everyone else. This was the first mindset that helped me change my eating patterns. Once I started loving myself, I didn't see loosing weight as a punishment.
 I realized just how much crap I was putting into my body. I slowly cut it all out, swapping things, finding healthier options. It all became so much easier when it went from "I can't have that" to "I don't want that". Desserts I never crave.. Unless I'm PMSing. Chocolate waterfalls no longer look appealing and the sight of cream makes me feel sick. It's so much easier after all the cravings left.

I also started eating only when I was hungry.. No comfort eating, and portion controlling so I would learn to stop when I was full. As simple as it sounds, it's actually pretty hard to not eat in routine, but listening to your body!

I'm not going to lie, the weight just started falling off at this point. All it took was healthier eating. Well, you can understand why when I was eating like a kid in a candy store!

My first goal was to be 79 kilo by the time I went to Singapore in May. And I made it!! It was so great to get to a goal. I felt incredible. I felt happier. And that inspired me to keep it up!

I got back from Singapore and started working out, doing some 30 day about challenges. I would work out every night plus started pole dancing once a week. I've just hit my next goal.. 70 kilo!

I've actually hit a bit of a rutt and need to get back into working out more, but still continue to pole dance once a week and go for walks, eat healthier and make better choices. I hope to lose another 10 kilo, but I feel so confident with where I am.

I still think I'm that bigger girl, in fact every time I buy clothes I still buy the bigger size. It's not until I look in the mirror I remember.. It's strange, and I'm sure something that'll change in time. But I am so thankful to myself that I made the decision to be healthier!

-Harley xx