Friday, January 3, 2014

From Mummy to Human.

Ever said any of these?

I tried and tried for him and now I'm leaving him? And I think a haircut once every 6 months is more important then my child? I couldn't possibly shower either because I wouldn't want him to miss me! I'll just bathe with him. Sleep is for people that aren't mums.. and so is eating. I'm the one that had him, he isn't anyone else's responsibility. Only III know how to look after him. What's the point in doing my hair and makeup if I'm not even going out! I don't want anyone else raising my child. He'll miss me! He'll cry! He'll forget who I am!! 'enjoying' baby free time is just mean! Why did I have a child if I want time to myself? I don't need to go to the gym anyway, I run around a baby.

Then this post is for you!

I've always felt guilty about doing something for me since Jydan was born, ESPECIALLY about leaving him. Jydan is #1.. Mummy is #500. Family, marriage and housework are somewhere in the middle. I think I've felt extra guilty because Jydan took us so long. It's only taken me over a year to realise that I'm important too! Actually it took me to take a step back and see how my husband was. Time out and unwind time is really important to him. He doesn't leave the house without his hair done and he doesn't feel guilty about going to work (although I'm sure he would love to spend more time at home). He is working on his career, he still gets to do the things he likes to do AND he is still a dad! That doesn't make him a bad Dad! So why would I be a bad Mum? Why am I leaving the house without my hair done?

I love Dr.Phil! And his wife! Robin McGraw. Robin has wrote a book called ' What's Age Got To Do With It?' She talks about how her mother passed away because she looked after everyone else first and neglected her own health. Robin asks the question 'If you don't put your health and well being first, who else will?'

So 2014 is kind of like my year. I'm starting my nursing degree that I've wanted to do for many years, and my news resolutions are to take better care of myself and become more confident (and to loose another 10 kilos!). I feel like last year was my mummy year, and mummy year alone.. now it's time to learn to balance being me too!

Yes there are definitely times that your child comes first, of course! But you do need to come first at times too! 

Balancing Mummy and Baby:

There isn't a whole lot of time you can spend on some time for you when you have a young one, especially when you have a bad sleeper.. so here are some 5 minute mummy times. You'll be surprised at how great 5 minutes on yourself will feel!

- While your child is bathing, if they can independently sit but still needs to be watched, why not pop a face mask on, or give your face a scrub? I rubbed coconut oil in my face tonight, feels amazing! Paint your toenails, hand massage, face toner...

- A 'Mummy Time' Box. A Box of glorious things for your baby to play with that only comes out when Mummy needs a five minute rest. Things your child aren't use to but would really love. For mine, that would be crayons and paper.. You can put anything and everything in there! A puzzle, A packet of wipes that they can pull out, play-doh, paper, stickers.. anything you know they will play with independently.

-Baby proof your bathroom. Well if your child is anything like mine and needs to be able to have you in their sight, a baby proof bathroom could mean loooong showers.. as long as they can pop in and make sure you haven't ran away!

- A baby carrier! Strap the baby on, baby gets mummy cuddles and you can do what you like! This is how I get alot of my cleaning done, especially the vacuuming! Trying to cook during witching hour can be hell too.. a baby carrier makes all the difference!

-Set a timer. This sounds really funny, but if your child is a predictable quick napper and you only have 20-40 mins break or even more and you have 100 things to do in that time, set it for when your child will wake, so you can keep an eye on how much time you have left! Because it goes quick! My son sleeps 40 -45 minutes, so I keep an eye on the time.. 10 minutes to relax, 15 minutes to shower and get dressed, 5 minutes for make up, 20 minutes to tidy. And then he's up! 

-An Ipod/MP3 player or even a good phone! Pop the baby in the pram, plug earphones in, get walking and you magically have how ever long you want to listen to your favourite music! 

- There is a phone app for everything! Utilise them.. your bank app, shopping app, the blogger app ;).. Less time running around.. more time for mum!

Mummy Feel Good Must Haves:

- Quick Dry Nail Polish or Spray.. It literally takes 30 seconds for them to dry and you can go back about your day with pretty nails! Toenails are good, they last ages without needing touch ups!

- A good bra! You know how people say good jeans? I'm saying good bra! Maybe good jeans too.. but definitely a good bra!

- An easy hair accessory. A headband or a flower or something you can just throw in when you have no time for your hair, or your hair is just not having a good day.

- A gorgeous Jacket/Cardi for those moments that your running out the door and you've just realised your top looks.. well mummafied!

- A wardrobe clean out. Even if you end up with only have your wardrobe left, it will make you feel so much better seeing a wardrobe full of clothes you like and fit properly then a wardrobe half full of daggy clothes!

-Healthy Snacks! Fill your fruit bowl and pantry with quick healthy snacks that's going to make you feel alert and vibrant rather then sluggish. (my new favourite at the moment is banana and unsweetened shredded coconut!!)

-Your FAVOURITE tea or coffee or whatever you drink. Don't compromise on this, because you will mostly be drinking your drinks cold.. and you still want them to taste nice, cold!

-Simplicity! Simplify your routines, cut things out that don't need to be done, take the shorter route and cut costs. Figure out what's really important to do, and what can wait to be done every second day instead.

-A Scout's Honour! Be prepared! Organising as much as you can for next day, the night before. Reducing stress, allowing more time in the mornings and through the day.. more time for YOU!

Also, figuring out how you and your child work! You might not work with a routine.. and you may spend a year trying to get a routine that you & your child aren't happy with! Figure out what suits YOU as a mother.. not the other twenty mothers telling you what to do. Once you find it, you will find that you both (or more) will have and appreciate so much more independent time.

1 comment:

Camille Griffiths said...

This is such a great post! It took me about 2 years to even enjoy more than a 5 minute quick shower because I didn't trust anyone with my daughter except me. I also never let even her dad take her out anywhere. I felt so guilty when I went back to school, I would cry during break time. I am still working on it, but I now let my husband take the kids to the park by himself while I get some cleaning and relaxing time to myself. I even take 15 minute showers, hahah! It's so true, we need time for ourselves, or we can't refresh and be a happy, fun mother anyway.