Monday, March 13, 2017

The Perfect Betrayal

The Perfect Betrayal.
Snippet of my manuscript

I seemed to have been completely swamped into his world, which for him, was the base of where he could control everything. And he did. To the point that when I moved in with him, I was only allowed to bring two pairs of shoes. Although I gave up all my belongings to move in with him, he made it known in every arguement, when I did anything, when I spoke about our belongings, it was in fact, his. He owned it all, and he was well in the process of owning me.

I wasn't my own person anymore. And eventually, his puppet in his show of perfectionism. Often I would be told to not do that, not say that, be quite. If I ever went against what he wanted, he would explode. What started off in the early days as a voice of opinion, quickly turned into screaming, then violance.

Everything had to go exactly his way. From the way I said things to what we were going to do and how we were going to do it.
I had to strategically plan out everything I said so he didn't fly of the handle. When he had left the room I would sit and anaylize everything I wanted to say to him that morning, how I should word it, and in what tone, so I could try and down play how agitated he might of got. Most of the time it didnt work, but sometimes was better then no times at all. For instance, I knew begging and crying and compromise didnt work to get him to do housework (unless we had a visitor, he would leave things to the last minute, so he could be seen and congratulated for helping out).

I knew if I told him all the housework I would do, while he just did the washing for me, so he knew he was getting the upper hand / doing way less then me, I might of got somewhere.

It was all about him being better and better of than me. It was about him winning. Nothing else, but a win.
This worked fine because he had already groomed me into thinking I was below him. He was the income providor, and I was nothing and had nothing without him, so I should bow to him.

 Once I gained confidence and self worth, and realized I wasnt just there to cook and clean and look after the kids, I was an equal person too, he didnt like that! And thats when things went from bad to dangerous.. And in one night my life was in his hands.

The Perfect Betrayal.

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