Saturday, April 1, 2017

The something special that never was.

Once in a lifetime you meet someone.
That makes an impression so stamped in your heart that you forget what life was like without them. That captivates every ounce of your being. That draws you in and you literally feel two souls meeting.
That even though it was only a moment, only a chapter, it was one of your favorites. And you have no idea how to turn the page. How to let go. How to give up. How to stop.
A captivating noval that your soul screams to continue reading no matter what. And then there's the ending where you're overwhelmed with emotions of why.

That connection in the midst of your life that takes you to another level of wholeness. Where you couldn't see an end.
Only a moment, but the quality masks the quantity. But then, within a glimpse, the tunnel of rose coloured glasses calpses. And you doubt every ounce of your being.

Once in a lifetime you find yourself completely lost in overwhelming emotions, doubting everything around you.
Once in a lifetime you realize that magic carpet you thought was a rock, not only crumbled but drowned.

The one that got away. Because no matter what you were, are, or could be, just was not good enough. And it never will be. Youre utterly not good enough. And it eats at you, deep in the pits of every emotion you could feel, with depth so strong you don't know how to wake up from this.

Your soul yerns.
Your trust breaks.
Your eyes glass.

How do I pick up my shoulders and walk with my head held high after.
How do I ever knock down the walls that managed to be before.
How do I ever let a moment in again.
When they were everything you had yerned for and so much more.

How do you get passed when your continually asking why. The story of unfinished business.

This time the waves are crashing so hard, that I think I'll let them drown me.

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